Other people believe idle hands are sinful, so they pack their lives with too many activities and become overloaded and disorganized. Whatever the reason, chaos addicts avoid what is too painful to confront, as Joyce Guccione, 49, a senior vice president at an investment firm and mother of four, discovered. Raised in a traditional household, Joyce became the family's primary breadwinner when her husband was disabled. Working on commission as an investment adviser, she had a natural talent for the job, but whenever she had a good month, she'd feel guilty and slack off during the next month.

"I would wreak havoc on our finances," she says, "but I always had some excuse why I hadn't been able to work as hard that month."
Five years ago when she met with success coach Noah St. John, author of Permission to Succeed, she finally dealt with her self-sabotage. "I was conditioned to believe that the wife wasn't supposed to be more successful," she says, "so I created ways to keep myself from feeling guilty."

Not surprisingly, living this way is not good for body or soul.

Jill Adams, 39, a stay-at-home mother of two and full-time college student, says her lifestyle (starting new home remodeling projects before finishing the old ones, moving a lot, neglecting herself to take care of everyone else) eventually gave her migraines and an ulcer. Joyce Guccione's constant frenzy resulted in her kids acting out at school. And, at the extreme, Melissa's chaos led to a breakdown during which she had to stop working and seek psychotherapy.